My Days turned Night

The whole purpose of this blog post is to encourage. If only one person reads this and finds encouragement then my task at hand will be complete. I want to share with you the deepest and darkest trials in my life and one in particular that I will be sharing with you today is when my days turned into night; my battle with depression.

Those of you that know me know that I can be crazy, spontaneous, outgoing, bubbly, and well I'm sure I can get annoying with all my positivity lol BUT a lot of people have only seen me through my battle with depression. Four years ago I moved from my home in Indiana to California to follow the plan that God has for my life. I attended Bible College for two years and I must say it changed my life. Over the first few months of being out here in California away from my friends and family I definitely isolated myself, thank goodness I had my husband tho, at the time he was my boyfriend. I isolated myself from everyone. As I began to do that I felt the darkness of depression slowly take control of my life........

No longer did I seem crazy, spontaneous, outgoing, bubbly, and positive. All I felt was darkness..... At the time I didn't even realize I was depressed, looking back it all seems fuzzy if that makes sense? I felt miserable. I felt so discouraged. I felt empty. I felt like there was no purpose for me. I battled with my self-esteem, I hated the way I looked, I hated everything about myself and I felt like it would never end. I felt my nights would continue forever. During that time I even suffered from an eating disorder........ There would be days without eating and I would tell my husband I was just fasting, but the reality was my mind was in darkness. As I am writing this I am weeping and thanking God for His love. And that's what delivered me from my depression, the Love of God.

I cannot imagine where I would be without the Love of God. It has saved me from every trial I have ever walked through. Everyday I would wake up and spend time with my Jesus because I knew He was the only one that could deliver me from my Nights. There were days I didn't even want to pray because the spirit of depression was so heavy upon me. I wouldn't even want to read the precious Word of God but I knew I had to because it was the only time I felt peace. My mind was in torment and I needed to read His words of love. I spent 4 long years in my depression, I thought it would never end.

I was in a Sunday morning service and my Pastor's wife, which she is absolutely amazing and a woman of prayer, laid her hands upon me and began to pray. As she began to pray I felt a battle in my mind stirring as the spirit of depression began to fight back then all of a sudden she spoke the sweet name of Jesus and commanded depression to leave. I began to feel a weight lift from me and I felt free once again! No longer was I bound by that dark spirit of depression BUT the LORD had DELIVERED me! My mourning was turned into dancing, my sorrow into joy!

I have gone through so much in my life BUT the LORD has ALWAYS brought deliverance! Always remember never curse the trial that is bringing your transformation. There is a reason you are going through the dark road of your trial and that is to be a living testimony of the miraculous work of God! Your testimony will bring hope to others, it may seem as if it's never going to end but stay faithful in prayer and reading the Word of God and He will bring deliverance!

"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls" 1 Peter 1:7-9